BinTanG PesoNa

~dedicated to my ex-best fren n anyone who involved in the story...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...
I dnt know where to start~huhu~
Last nyte i cried so hard that i couldn't sleep.
So sorry my fren..I now realize how much u hate me n dun want to have anything with me anymore. My past mistakes had taken its toll on me.

I'm not gud in expressing my feeling. So, i think it's ok if i juz write what had happen at 'that time'. It will not bring u back to me though but at least it will put me at ease.

Now, 'listen' to me carefuly...
That day, i was out with 'u know who' when i told 'u know who' about what happen the nite b4,but i admit that it was my fault for not telling him the whole story, i juz tell him how do i feel when u said that words that nite. coz for me its not important for him to know all the story but maybe i was wrong. i'm soooorry...

Honestly, i didn't tell 'u know who' to be mad n yell at u. I also didn't talk bad about u in front of him. i was just telling how sad i feel when u said that words. It was nvr my intention to make u two quarrel like that. I was sad bcoz of that words u said to me, so sad... It made me cried hard that nite.

Perhaps u know that i'm a sensitive person, but still u said that words that nite. I felt like crying n that's y i left the room immediately n said that i had headache. It was a sensitive thng to me, u must know that. 'u know who' is very important to me. He's my closest fren and he's my rival. For me, who has a big family and a youngest sis, i couldn't say much to my family. What i feel n what i want, my hepines, my sadness my dreams, my academic are not what i should be talking to my family. They don't give a damn for it. I juz have to deal it on my own.

N dats y i need him. He always helps me, criticizes me, encourages me, trust me and listen to me. BUt u girls, 'my GENG' as it was called always abandons me, push me aside, and even set a plan to destroy my life. He's my guardian angel, and i definitely can depend on him. I want to lean on u girls but how can i trust sumone who always talk behind my back n sumone who can't even share things with me? hu3

I'm not blaming u, it was not ur fault. Maybe u were mad bcoz of what i said earlier that nite. N i was so sorry for that. N that nite ended up with u saying that words to me.

I could'nt hold back my feeling back then, n i told him about what u said that nite. He was so mad. But trust me, i was only trying to meluahkan perasaan je to him. Bkn nk suh die mrh2 u ke pe ke.

I dun even know when did 'u know who' send that 'luvly' sms to u. I'm so sorry. I tried hard to not let him send that sms. I agree that he could be mean when he's very mad. But after that case, he regretted doing that n he was sorry for that. so, pliz...forgive him. It wasn't his fault, he so angry back then.

I've nvr imagined that i could be that way. N it was all started with me telling him my feeling. I really regret it. I didn't regret for choosing 'u know who' , but i regret for not choosing the both of u at that time. Both of u mean a lot to me. If only i knew this would happen then i wouldn't tell him instead. But we knew already that time couldn't turn back although i cried my blood out.

So, that's how it was. That's my story, i may sound different from urs. But plz understand me. I'm sorry that when u came into my room after that i didn't say much.
It was not bcoz i dun want to but i couldn't. My touge was twisted n my blood was racing so fast that i could hear my own heartbeat. Forgive me that i was so bad at expressing my feeling once again. I should have told u all this.

I tried to tell u by a letter full of what i want u to know. But i was so afraid that time. I know that u wouldn't like that type of thng. But, it was the only thing i could do, n still i couldn't give it to u..huhuhu...

Now, i juz got to know that u r quite phobia to be frens with me. N i can see that in all ur actions these few weeks. So sorry to make u feel that way. I hope u will not be afraid to make frens with anyone after this juz bcoz what had happened btwn u n me.

Lastly, i wanna say i'm so sorry 4 evrythng n gudbye my fren...lets juz be this way...neither frens nor foes...
Thanks 4 being my best fren b4 n for what i've done, i will not bother u anymore n i won't appear in front of u anymore...
But one thng for sure i will always remember u as one of my bestest frens ever..
..................Tata.............

p/s:sori kalu entry ni menyinggung hati sesiapa..lgsg tdk berniat begitu. nway, time kaseh sbb bace..:)